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Fine! I Didn't Want to Say Hello Anymore, Either!



Have you ever had a wonderful Facebook relationship with someone?  By wonderful, I mean almost benign?  Everything is kind, there is no hostility.  You like and laugh at each others posts.  If you saw them in person, you would smile at them as you walked by, but maybe not engage in conversation.   Then one day they unfriend you.

Why does this happen?  Do you rack your brain trying to figure out exactly what you did to offend them?  Did you not wish them a Facebook happy birthday?   Did you not press like when they posted a picture of the first snow?   No heart emoji when they posted their wedding anniversary?   Not laugh when they had a picture of Helen Keller and her cat Mittens?    What could it possibly be?


 You don't even really know the person.  Perhaps you met them at a party or at a meeting - or on vacation or maybe you used to work with them.   Maybe they are a parent of your kids' friend or they lived down the street from you growing up, or a friend of a friend in college.  Outside of Facebook you don't have a relationship.  All you really know about them is what shows up on your Facebook feed.   You've never really socialized, you don't see them regularly if at all and your spouses don't know each other.  You might have mutual friends.   The point is, there is no history - just the brief time you knew them and you enjoyed their company enough to add them as a friend.Facebook

 This person isn't first and foremost in your thoughts.  In fact, you rarely think about them at all until one day you realize you haven't seen a post from them in a long time.   So, you look them up and you see the "Add Friend" button.   WHAT?   You look again to make sure it is in fact your "friend."   It is.  There is a new picture of them smiling on their anniversary in the snow.   What gives?   Why are you no longer their friend?   What set the wheels in motion for someone to unfriend you?    And this isn't anyone you really even care about - and now you are thinking of every offensive thing you may or may not have posted that would cause them to unfriend you.   Then you see that they are still friends with other people you are friends with.  What caused them to seek you out and delete you from their lives - but not these other people?



It takes a little bit of work to unfriend someone on Facebook.  It's not hard - but you have to take the time to do it.   You have to go to someone's page.  Click on the friend tab and then click another tab.   Click it and there is no second chance.  You have unfriended someone.   If this is harsh, a person has the option to unfollow someone - but you remain friends.  The unfollowed has no idea that you are no longer following them and they don't have to worry about why someone may unfriend them.

But I'm not talking about feuds, disagreements, arguments, loyalty - anything like that.  I get that and have pissed off my share of people who have unfriened me.  I'm talking about a casual Facebook friendship where one day this odd person decides they don't want you in their life.  You are taking up valuable Facebook space and unfollowing is not an option - THEY NEED YOU OUT OF THEIR LIFE.  Their virtual life.

 I've unfriended just one person, ONE person on Facebook.  I genuinely dislike her bordering on hate.  But, it was a pain even doing that small chore of going to her page and clicking a few buttons.   I almost didn't but then I realized I truly did dislike this person and did not want any reminder of her in my life.   One person in 10 years.  I've also done my share of unfollowing (usually for 30 days just for a reprieve in their inane ideologies - but I still like them as a person.)   But to purposely go through a list and cherry pick people to remove because they are fodder?   It just seems harsh.   There is always the possibility they may need you at some point in their life.  Or you are reacquainted and the awkward "Don't I know you...."

What are your thoughts on this?  Do you randomly or routinely unfriend acquaintances?  If so, why?  I'm truly curious! 

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