The Name Game

 What the hell is my name?  And how do you spell it? 😳   First, please realize I will answer to anything!  If it even remotely has a "k" sound - I will turn my head.  

A high school friend asked me if he was the only person to still call my Kathi.   I laughed.  Are you kidding?  I have about four or five names.  I'm not counting Mom and I'm not counting Mrs Johnson.  It's not at all confusing to me, but it seems to be to everyone else.  

My mother named me Kathleen explaining she always wanted to give her daughter that lovely Irish name.  I was mostly called Kathleen, but my family did call me Kath, my dad called me Leener Wiener and I had an aunt that added an extra syllable - Kath-a-leen.   I didn't think too much about it, it was just my name.  Everyone had one.

I started school as Kathleen.   Everyone else seemed to be Lisa or Jenny, but I was the only Kathleen, and that is what everyone called me.   

To this day, I don’t know why my 4^th grade teacher shortened my name to Kathy.   I hated it.  My mom hated it.  But I guess herd mentality ensued because everyone else went along with it.  I still signed my name Kathleen, and said that was my name, but the name Kathy was here to stay.  There is nothing wrong with the name Kathy – I just never felt it was my name.  Thus began Mom’s refrain of "If I wanted to call you Kathy, I would have named you Kathy." 

Around 6th grade, I decided if Kathy was what I was called, I could at least spell it differently.  Kathi.  Kathie.  Kathe?  I have various belongings during this time that shows I still didn't know how to spell my name.   Eventually Kathi became the most accepted spelling.   I hated the name, but I did like the “i” at the end.  While not exotic – it did have flair (at least to my 11 year old brain.)  

I was still Kathleen/Kath at home.   Mom would still pontificate about Kathy.  My dad would act confused when he answered the phone – and most importantly, I couldn’t get a Varsity jacket unless my name read Kathleen. 

I decided senior year that when graduated, I would be Katie.  I thought I'd try it out at a weekend retreat – (Catholic schools - another post!)   I told my schoolmates I was trying out Katie - and I introduced myself as Katie all weekend.    At some point, someone told my roommate my name was Kathi and was very offended I had "lied" to her.  She took it far more seriously than I did!  I never did find the snitch – but I have suspicions.

When I went off to college – I introduced myself as Katie.   At no time did I tell anyone to stop calling me Kathi – anyone was free to continue calling me that.  And again, I was Kathleen to my family.   That never changed.   Sometimes I felt my home friends thought I was fibbing, or trying to be someone I wasn’t – when in fact – I just didn’t care for my name.  It had nothing to do with them, or creating a new identity– I didn’t join a commune or even a sorority for that matter – everything was the same.    It was confusing when an old friend met a new friend – but – it didn’t cause too many problems.  Or if it did – it wasn’t my problem!

For the next several years I was Katie.  I shortened it to Kate when I turned 30ish.  I still answered to Kathi and Kathleen.   One benefit of having a couple of names is immediate knowledge of what part of your life someone is from when you answer the phone!

Somewhere in those years, a couple of childhood friends took to calling me Kate.  I never asked them to, but I appreciate the effort!   Sometime it sounds strange, almost hesitant – but I always answer    Then, Facebook came along.   It's hard when you go by different, yet similar names!  Add the fact I have a very common last name - and all reason is out the window.   It is possible that some childhood friends don't know I now go by Kate.  I can assure you none of my adult friends I’ve made since college have been told I was ever called Kathi.   I chose by Kate Frick Johnson - and fortunately, Facebook has an entry for other names that you may have once used.  The usual friend request I received is accompanied by a message “Did you used to be Kathi" or "when did you become Kate?”   I also count on the blessing that we are all getting older and are confused.  Maybe they forgot my name was Kathy and blame their faulty memory for not remembering Kate? 

It really doesn't matter if they call me Kathi, Kate or even Kath-a-leen.   It's how you know me.   I didn't legally change my name to “Kat” or “Lena” or some other exotic variation.  I probably should have – but I stand by my theory no self- respecting adult calls themselves Kat.

Meanwhile, my husband, kids and anyone I have met since I was 30 call me Kate.  My family still calls me Kathleen or Kath.    But the other day, my nephew called me Aunt Kate.   Have worlds started colliding?    

The Name Game might be the easier solution!